Wednesday, January 2, 2008

How is it possible that if a couple has three children, two appear to be alike in thoughts and emotions and yet the third child doesn't seem to fit? Is it environmental or is it a twist of the genetic code? Did something happen during the pregnancy that caused a disturbance from the normal flow of life?

I've always been thankful that all three of my children were born without any defects. But really, isn't that an untrue statement since none of us are born with the perfection trait? All three of them have gone through their own moments of success and despair. They've persevered and have become stronger women.

When I was pregnant with the oldest, I worried that something would go wrong. And once her twin died when I was four months pregnant - a freak of nature that happened at the same time my sister's fiance passed away in a work accident - I was scared that something would go terribly wrong. But she was a healthy baby, born a week late, and we discovered that her twin was a boy. Sometimes I wonder what he would be like or would he be like his sister? Or maybe she is the way she is because of him.

With the second one, I worried because I was under a lot of stress. But she, too, was healthy at birth. She was two days late, and once we were in the delivery room, the contractions stopped. The doctor gave me an IV solution that jumpstarted the contractions, which by the way, seemed much stronger than the first ones. I still think now, though, that she has a thyroid problem - like most of the females in my family - but the doctors just say her level is safe but toward the low end.

And then there's the baby of the group. She, too, was healthy. A week early. But when she was a little over a year old, she fell and hit the back of her head. Tests showed she was okay, but I always thought that tumble changed her personality.

After that, there were two miscarriages. In my mind, that was nature's way of saying that something had gone amiss with these pregnancies.

But it still makes me wonder: how do two of three or four of five seem so alike and yet there is one who doesn't seem to belong in the family because their thinking pattern is so different. Is it nature's way of testing us, as parents?

No comments: