Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Yes, I'm married. And I've been married. Several times. So the other evening when we were watching the movie Fireproof, I started wondering if the "love dare" would have worked in my previous marriages.

It's tough to say because even when people say "I do", what happens if you fall out of love - or even fall out of liking - the person you married. People change, that's inevitable. Situations change. That, too is inevitable. But is it possible to rekindle the love you once had?

I can't imagine a life without Scott. This is the best relationship, and strongest marriage, I've ever had. Sure, he doesn't always 'listen' to me, which he admitted last night. And I don't always 'hear' what he's saying, which I admitted. But, there's just this chemistry and feeling of completeness that neither of us experienced before.

If this relationship ever disintegrated to the point in the movie, I would take the love dare with him. I think there comes a point in your life when you know you finally feel satisfied with yourself and you know what you expect from yourself and your spouse. Unfortunately, too many people make that mistake early in life and get married too young. One of my friends, Courtney, didn't get married until she was 28. Yes, she had opportunity with prior boyfriends. But she never felt satisfied with herself or the person she dated. Until 'the one' came along. And everything just clicked. I'm not saying they didn't have disagreements before they married. They did. But something clicked with them - and not just her biological clock - and they were both right in waiting to say "I Do".

Sometimes, I think a lot of it boils down to manners. How many times do you thank your spouse for even some little thing he or she does for you? When there is a lack of manners or respect, that is when a relationship seems to begin to break down. You can't just always take things for granted. Show appreciation and the rewards are returned several times.

As far as a review of the movie... is it Oscar worthy material? Probably not. But sometimes the message you get from a movie is far more important, and that would be the case with Fireproof. The message is a good one, and people should watch it. Maybe it should become part of marriage counseling - both pre-wedding and when a couple seeks help. Perhaps it would make a difference.

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